Pause that moment...
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
He called me to keep me awake while I drove home for the holidays. We talked about out hypothetical life together, since we were "just friends" at the time. Our "future" was awesome! Man oh man, I miss that boy.
December 8th, 2008. Calling in to work "sick," and spending the day in bed with the most wonderful person in the world.
Together with all my friends just visiting and sharing love before the grand march of our graduation. Priceless times and meories (:
@honeybeeje Honeymoon in Alaska... unexpected but sounds wonderful nontheless!
Jack Johnson concert.. last year.. perfect summer day surrounded by thousands of happy people and beautiful music. Pure love.
When I went to six flags with my older brother, it was one of the best times that I spent with him before he died.
@icgrayscale - i nod my head at this. also i become jealous in my heart. whilst nodding my head.
Sitting on a beach in the Bahamas smoking a Cuban cigar and drinking Italian wine while watching the sun go down over the waves, all the while conversating about who God is and how ridiculously awkward and diverse the church is.
@EvvAshtangi that's lovely. it reminds me of my first time traveling abroad on my own at 19. I stepped out of the underground station onto a London street, and realizing I had no specific destination, no hotel booked, no friend meeting me, understood for the first time that I was alive, strong, and adventurous.
this thought of capturing moments in an attempt to hold on to them forever occurs to me almost daily when I'm with loved ones, especially my daughter. she is blooming beautifully over these 8 years, but sometimes, I miss her as a baby or toddler or kindergartener, and those "versions" of her are gone.
I know with every passing day she is growing up out of who she is, and while it is exciting to see her blossom, it is all I can do to try to savor every moment of her, knowing that she'll never quite be the same.
And now I'm sobbing out of fear and love simultaneously.
my husband and I were on our honeymoon in Alaska, and each day was better than the one before. The rush of just marrying my best friend, and the beauty in Alaska that I never even imagined, it was more than picturesque.
In 1978, a midnight screening of "Rocky Horror Picture Show" at the Texas Theater on the drag in Austin. Ridiculous nirvana.
A summer sunset in Tuscany with friends and a nice bottle of chianti and the sappy corny feeling I had in high school when a girl I had a crush on came into the classroom and sat next to me.
I could spend the rest of my life listening to my kids stories while we walk holding hands. unfortunately they only hold my hand in parking lots & crossing the street.
a few nights ago i was by myself with the windows down driving on the expressway listening to the shins. i was the only one on the road and my windows were wide open. I wanted to keep driving forever, something about the music and the freedom, it was the perfect remedy for all my troubles.
also when i hug my mom or dad, it can never be long enough. id pause that in a heartbeat.
Midnite in that parking lot so far away, getting to know her. Then again wouldn't that be the Cliché type of thing to say? Ah, I don't care let me be.
can i describe a moment where it felt like time stood still? well, i'm going to anyway...
i had just spent a great evening in ballard (seattle) with 2 friends of mine. one friend was the driver. i had just called "shotgun" so i could ride in the front. the friend i was competing against jumped in front of me and sat in the seat. i remember pleading with him to let me sit there and he just sat there, staring at me. then all of a sudden he broke out into a hysterical fit of laughter (imitating me because i had a case of the giggles) and was maniacally laughing at me. i shook my head no and began to back away while also starting to laugh uncontrollably. i turned around to get away from him but he proceeded to start tickling me. i lost my footing and began to fall backwards, into him, and this is where i felt suspended in the time-space continuum. the "fall" seemed to last for an eternity. i remember my head was tilted back, cackling at the sky, his head rested upon my shoulder, reverberating my laughs in my ear, and his body surrounding mine. our bodies seemed to meld into each other and become one for a moment. at one point i felt like i jumped outside of my physical shell and i was watching us in panoramic motion. a million little photographs trying to capture the essence of that moment. that was one of the most peaceful, surreal moments i've ever experienced. have i said the word "moment" enough yet?
that was definitely
The best moments of my life are when I'm writing and things just click. The words flow and I can write pages, which is a great struggle for me typically. But there's always a problem of time - it's getting too late, I have somewhere to go, etc. I'd want nothing more than to be able to just stop time in those moments and write and write and write until I had nothing left brewing.
A lot to choose from, but I think the one that encapsulates it all: the first time I went abroad, the moment I stepped off the train in Dijon, France. It was the turning point in my life. That was the first time I was introduced to the awe, the inspiration, the challenge, the joy, the beauty, the adventure of the unknown. It was the first time I realized that there was more to life than meets the eye, that there was a great human connection than I had ever understood.
That realization, that second.
Pause.
I've had so many of those in my life. The most recent was the sheer joy I felt watching my daughter stand up, 7 years old, first of all performers, in her school talent show and sing note perfect (after we practiced so much!) "Part of Your World" from The Little Mermaid. I was sitting there with my husband, the tears on both our cheeks as we watched her sing her very first solo. I thought I'd been proud of myself but I've never been prouder than I was of her.
Back in February, one of my best friends and I decided to take an impromptu trip to a small, but wonderful ice cream shop about 20 miles away. As we drove through sleepy towns that Sunday afternoon, the sun turned our faces orange and he sang off key as he drove his little Audi a little too fast down the country roads. The way the sunlight hit his face, the way he looked in his Burberry scarf and worn jeans, but most of all, the way he looked at me and smiled, made me realize that I loved him.
the best (mini)date I ever went on.
simply sitting on an empty golf course watching a sunset, talking.
Moments in time I wished I could pause:
#1 - The first time my childhood crush ever hugged me. I was 12, and we'd just played truth and dare with my brother and his sister, and for some reason I could not comprehend, the kiss on his cheek I gave him had an incredible effect on him. He was in my room with me, and he came from behind as we were going downstairs to eat dinner. He pulled me into a tight, spontaneous embrace but it lasted for a split second because my mom shouted up again that dinner was ready.
#2 - Being in the pool at night with the same childhood crush. He was leaning against the wall and he pulled me close to his side so I could feel his skin against mine. It was the first time I'd ever fallen so hard for a guy, and the setting (being in a pool, at night), the atmosphere... everything felt so magical.
#3 - Fast forward to college - another round of truth or dare where for I kissed this guy I hardly knew and for the first time ever, felt that magic 'connection' from the moment our lips touched. It lasted less than a minute, but the memory of it was seared in my mind long after despite the fact that I was seeing another guy at that time.
#4 - Giving my BBF ("best boy friend") a massage after so long of wanting to show him how I felt about him. We'd had a strictly platonic relationship for two years and we'd never been touchy-feely with each other and always respected each other's personal space. I never thought he could see me the way I could see him - as more than a friend and I had no idea he felt the same way too. That day he told me earlier that he dreamt about us having sex the night before - the first time we ever ventured into such an intimate topic of conversation before. I can't remember how I ended up giving him a massage but I remember the feeling of being able to touch him after so long of holding back how I felt and show him through touch what I couldn't say in words.
This would be amazing in real life.
I would totally go back to the last night I spend with my best friend about a week before he passed away at the age of 21. I think about it constantly. Though there is nothing I could have changed about it, the calmness, the happiness, and just how perfect it was, I would love to share that moment forever.
While at a youth leadership seminar this past month in VA the staff decided to try this out on the students. We did froze without warning at lunch and at the dance. They're reactions were about the same as those on the video. So much fun!
Aw man, that's easy. I went to a youth program at Green Acre Baha'i School last year. It was amazing. I never really realized the power of love till that summer. It was the only place I had ever felt truly accepted. Everyone there loved me and I loved them. I wish it never had to end.
My first kiss with my husband! We met on the internet, so meeting in person for the first time was so nerve wracking. He flew into Seattle and when connected it was instant chemistry. I took him to the first Starbucks ever in Pike Place Market and I said, "Do you like me?" He nodded. I said, "Are you sure?" He said, "Definitely." And so I kissed him! It was such a perfect day- there was this quartet outside singing Huey Lewis and the sun was shining. I wish I could just extend that moment of perfect peace and complete nervousness forever.
Two things come to mind:
- April of 2008. Family vacation to Disneyland. I spent most of the time with my oldest sister (we get along really well). Sure, I was 16, but Disneyland really is the happiest place on earth. I think back and just remember pure bliss. No worries. Away from school, from anything negative. In a place where everyone had a common goal: to have fun. It was warm and beautiful and I would do anything to extend those five days forever. The way I felt is just indescribable.
- It was October 11th of last year. I was in my first relationship. Me and my boyfriend were both incredibly shy and things moved so slowly but I was madly "in love" with him. On this day, he came over to my house. We spent hours in my bed cuddling and laughing and enjoying each others company. It got late and eventually we kissed. Like, really kissed. For the first time. I didn't know that kissing could be so much fun. Fresh Prince of Bel-Air was on in the background (and it happens to be one of my favorite shows). A couple of hours went by and we sat up and I fell asleep for a few minutes in his arms. When I woke up, it was a little past two in the morning. I said "Mm, why didn't you wake me up? It's late." And he said "I tried, I played with your fingers and kissed your head. But you were so tired." Then I walked him out to his car in the crisp autumn cold. We kissed goodnight.
It was magical. I'm not with him anymore, he's currently the only boyfriend I've had. I would love to love that night on repeat. <3
Ok, this is silly. The midnight release of the 7th Harry Potter book. So many people, so much excitment. It was the moment that I knew would mean the end of my childhood. I sat up reading it all night; I finished when the sun came up. I read the last few pages, crying, just because I knew that I would never experience the powerful excitment of reading the last book ever again. I know there will be other books, other midnight releases...but the Harry Potter books were smething special. They brought together a generation...and I was part of it. That night, we all were.
Laying face to face with someone new, someone I really really like and having a case of the smileys. Peaceful, beautiful, comfortable. I wish I could go back and just pause that moment for at least ten minutes.
February 13 of this year (a Friday, nonetheless), I drove down to Laguna Beach with my girlfriend to spend a three-day weekend at her family's beach house. Thanks to traffic, we arrived a little later than planned, so we ended up spending the evening tangled up in linens and watching old Jack Lemmon movies. After nightfall, we grabbed supplies--a bottle of wine, some plastic cups, blankets, fresh bread from the best Italian deli back home--and drove their golf cart through the neighborhood and down to a beach.
The night was chilly, clear, and windy, but we had the entire beach to ourselves, so we sat in the golf cart, covered in blankets and poured cabernet into our blue cups and drank it all in. We hadn't been together terribly long (the next day--Valentine's day--happened to mark our first month together), but given recent events, it had been the most blissful, inspiring and all-around happy months I'd lived in some time. We seemed to have found our way into each other's lives at just the right moment; and being someone who's always believed that everything does in fact happen for a reason, I found myself counting my blessings at every turn. At some point in the week or two leading up to that weekend, I'd realized I loved her-- and what better time to to tell someone that for the first time than Valentine's?
After we finished our rations, we got out of the cart and walked down a palm-lined walkway to the beach, blanket in tow. We sat in the firm sand and watched the waves roll in for a few minutes, but got cold. On the way back to the cart, I stopped, reaching for her hand. Both shivering slightly, I put my freezing hands to her face (I've since learned she is most definitely NOT a fan of chilly appendages) and kissed her for what felt like days. When we parted, I stared warmly into those big brown eyes that I'd fallen for before we even met and told her I loved her. Speechless, she went right back to the kissing me for a few minutes, and then told me the same.
I don't think of this moment as the happiest I've ever been, the most romantic, or the most exciting. I've been consistently--and increasingly--happy with her for the last four months, and we've shared an abundance of moments I wouldn't mind being lost in for eternity. In all sincerity, though-- everything about this moment was perfect-- not at all the way I'd grown accustomed to my romantic pursuits unfolding in my 26 years (although I'd only been "trying" for 21). But if I had to change one thing about that moment, I probably wouldn't have had just smoked a cigarette. (She hates the way smoke lingers my breath.) Four months later, on the other hand, I'm doing my best to quit... and I love her more with every word.
when my husband told me about his affair, I remember sliding off the edge of the bed in an unconscious stuper. What followed was an onslaught on his explanations, sorrows and apologies. What I heard was like something from the Charlie Brown teacher "wha, wah, wha, wah..." That's the one moment in time I wish I could have frozen. It would have been helpful to stop all the words and focus on my actual thoughts and feelings at that moment. It took me another two months after he told me to really figure out what I was feelings. And, I think, had I the opportunity to freeze the moment, I would have those two months back. Interesting. I never thought of it that way, but with this challenge, it makes sense.
It was just two years ago. I had arrived in Paris at the Charles de Gaulle airport. My final destination was a train ride away through some of the more economically challenged parts of Paris proper. As I sat on the train - alone - I turned on 'Apocolypse Please' by Muse. It was like a soundtrack for this wonderful, romantic trip I had been planning for some time yet it was interrupted by this postcard of urban blight. And so I sat there with my weary face pressed to the window listening to the words and understanding - really understanding - that life may never be what you hope it will be.
And this is the end, the end
This is the end
Of the World
And it's time we saw a miracle
Come on it's time for something biblical
To pull us through
And pull us through
hmm , where does one begin . , the last time i was in grand central , i felt adrift , aloft , timeless , a mote on a draft coming thru god lighting from those skylites ..a small insignificant nobody in a sea of other nobodies , all a part of some fantastic time machine ..
@Puckeater116 This sent chills up my spine. I wish you well in your quest for that moment.
i just turned 20 about a month and a half ago and had my 1st kiss a couple of weeks ago. It was really short and really sweet. I wish that lasted longer :]
1991. Ashland, Oregon.
My best friend and I were at the park.
He lay back on the grass, laughing at some stupid joke I had made. His hair was long, and blonde and in the sunlight he was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen.
If I could save one moment in my life to live over and over again it would be that one.
The park, the sunlight, the laughter, and him - my brother, my soulmate, and most of all, my friend.
I don't think I have ever been so perfectly happy as I was at that moment.
This got me thinking whether or not it's even logically possible
to extend an event in time.
Since the identity of an event is characterized basically by its
duration in time, what does it mean to extend an event in time?
Manifestly, we wouldn't have the same event. But let's assume
that we could continuously extend an event in time while making sure
the extended event was the same in all other ways. Is such a
continuous extension even possible? From a logical standpoint,
I suppose so. But physically it's clearly problematic.
Then I thought about memory. Isn't memory like stretching or
pausing moments in time? Of course, I realized that memory is
only a poor facsimile of present conscious experience. Then I
wonder to what limits could memory be extended so that it may
be as vivid as present conscious experience?
Even more wacky, what would it be like to stretch out or pause
a moment in the future and not the past? Do moments
in the future exist like moments in the past or present?
Incidentally, if I had to pick out a moment in time to stretch
or pause, it would always be "now," that is, to always experience the present more richly. As such, all moments I am to have would benefit although I'd probably notice that benefit less and less.
It was the night after my high school graduation and i had gone home. None of my friends had parties that night cause they planned them for the next day or later that summer and i just had this overwhelming feeling of abandonment. I know i still had the friends from high school but I was scared about the future and leaving everything behind. I called up my best guy friend in high school and he said he had the same kind of feeling. Without thinking i asked him if it would be okay if i came over. I got in my car and drove 45 minutes in the fog to see him. Mind you it was about midnight and my parents had no idea i had gone. When i got there the rain was pouring down and he opened the door and i ran and hugged him. It was like one of those scenes in a movie. We just sat and talked for hours on his porch until i finally went home. I can't describe the feeling i felt that night but i knew i would never have another moment like this again.
i was 9 or 10, and for the first time in my life, i contemplated death. i thought about not thinking, not breathing, being completely empty. and as i focused on that thought, for a split second i felt it. there was nothing. i was just...free. bliss. but then i snapped out of it. if that one moment was longer...i feel like i could learn from the darkness how to live in the light.
See-sawing with my best friend when we were sixteen. It had been a week from hell. He found out I was dating someone and admitted to loving me, and I was so afraid I would lose his friendship. He was so devastated that I was with someone else. But in that moment, sitting on those see-saws, acting like we were half our age, I knew that it would be okay. And I felt whole again.
And know, he's pulled the same thing on his other friend. Guess I wasn't so special after all.
@jedikelly that is so refreshing to sit somewhere, spark up a conversation with a complete stranger, know it was worthwhile because you had the opportunity to speak with an interesting person that you may have otherwise never met.
DISCUSSION TOOLSET
The week we spent "married" at his family's house while they were out of town. We read the last Harry Potter together, kissed each other goodbye before we went to work, and never once wished we hadn't stuck together.