How come it takes forever to build a good friendship and one second to break it?
The friends you once confided in for everything, yet rumors change everything why so drastically why do people change so fast?
sorry to say that by the time you reach 50 several other friendships that seemed vital and crucial and never ending - will have ended
but the few important ones - some of which don't yet exist but will develop in the future to you now -
they will last.
@flashbanding yes, I'm confused as to how easily a friendship which consumed so much of my life be nothing all so suddenly,
Because most people mistake true friendship for a passing acquaintance. The question really should ask who is a true friend. Real friendship is based on Love. Even if the rumour is true, true friends will still be there for you. The drastic change you speak of might be sorrow or sadness because of the circumstance but the feelings of care and Love don't change.
Perhaps because deep down we believe we are on isolated islands of self, and are walking individually into an individual future that is only superficially tied to others, if at all.
Relationship is like a campfire. Both have to contribute wood from their personal supply to keep it burning lest one runs out while the other is hoarding yet still reaping the warmth for a while longer.
Both people need to do their part. And when one gets distracted on the island of self or on the path of self so they feel they can no longer honour the commitment to the other, things fall apart.
A relationship is not something one person can carry by themselves. Both parties have to be in agreement to keep it alive and healthy.
@Michael7843853
I think you can get that experience occasionally - my suspicion is the poster is pissed off at a betrayal and posing this as a question is to try and help come to terms with that...
@trippythoughts - correct me if I am wrong...
I disagree with the premise that it takes forever to build a good friendship. First class in high school(1964), Bob sat in the next row one seat up. Never saw him before and have never not known him since. We could talk for hours on end from the start; still can. If we had been of the opposite sex... What's cool is his wife of 30 years and I can talk like that too. Coincidence? I think not.
What constitutes a good friendship? One that can withstand troubled times?
@amoresesperanza rumors, never ruined my true friendships either but i'm assuming on some level it has to play a part, for me it's times and how they change a person so much & how people just loose their way & find their own paths and forget about the friendships that once mattered so much & all you can do is when you somehow bump into them smile and hope for the best but never forget the good times.
I think the fact that it takes so long to build a good friendship is actually the reason it takes a second to break it. When you invest so much of your time, and so much of yourself, into a relationship, you expect the same in return. A second of broken trust can undo it all.
"Rumors" haven't really ever been an issue for my friends and I. We've been through some pretty serious stuff though, and it's only made us stronger as friends and as people. There were some instances where "one second" came close to ending it, but all it takes is a little clearing the air.
If a friendship is meant to last, it will.
I think it's because of trust. Takes time to make but can be lost in a split second, it depends on how strong that trust bond is.