SoulPancake

@FifiLB
you see I agree and disagree
I have heard that marriage "needs work"
but than again looking at my parents they had a normal marriage meaning
that they had moments of disagreement and happiness...
but my Father always said
you'll have your ups and downs it's normal
but if you don't want to go home at the end of the day
it's over

My parents generation...
they would be in there 50-60's

whose generation do you think you are? -
I can't grasp the edges of mine - 10 years younger or older?
those who look OK in leather?
there is an inherent bias in thinking "my generation does this differently" - short-sightedness abounds in the living, especially the young.

I think the alot of the problems people have come from the whole "grass is greener" idea. Everything we own now days is pretty much obsolete by the time it hits shelves. We're constantly bombarded by the idea of new and better... the problem is that new and better aren't cohesive with lasting relationships. People trade their partners in like they would a used car. Rather than putting in the time or effort to try to fix or even maintain something they just go out shopping for a newer model with more options.

We're also living in a era where "self love" is put at a higher importance than loving others. While there's nothing wrong with a healthy self esteem it shouldn't take away from your esteem of others, particularly your partner. Love is give and take (cliche but true) and if both sides alway try to take or one side always gives and the other always takes it just isn't going to work.

If this is a generation that knows what love is all about and won't settle for less it's also a generation that expects to get more than it's earned or get something for nothing. Love is work, it's one of the few things left in the world where you get out of it what you put into it.

I didn't agree with or understand marriage until I met my husband. Then I thought, "Oh! I get it now!". I think one of the misunderstandings some people have is that they think love and committment is going to be easy. In my experience, and that of my parents, and others close to me, it's not!! But the point is, it's worth the struggle and the tough times. I don't mean that it's always going to work, but with some honesty and a realistic starting point, love is worth a damn good try.

gosh i hope you are right,,,if this generation can figure out how to undue the marriage curse that would be fantastic.

I think we know what love is about. A lot of people back in the day stayed together because divorce was frowned upon. It may have been more of a partnership to work together to provide for the family that didn't involve as much romance as is considered important today. I don't think love is ever overrated, it's the subject of most songs on the radio and is generally the most important thing to have on a tv show. Everyone loves Jim and Pam. What would we do without their love?

In a word, commitment.

Love is eternal. Lust, paradigms of control, self-satisfaction, co-habitation agreements? These are the things that are short-lived. They are not functions of love for another, but only of love for the self.
It's the difference between self-serving love and self-sacrificing love.

We think we are being so clever in re-writing the definition of love so that it is more in keeping with what we want it to be so our games can continue -- rather than recognizing the eternal concept that it points to. We want to erase the map to a destination greater than self, so we can get down to just satisfying just self without any annoying guilt-trips that perhaps some concepts transcend us to embrace something far greater.

Back in the day, people had multiple wives/mistresses and stuff.